That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
