Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
