never play flip cup with pint glasses
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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