somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I can tuck mytits in my pants
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
