i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
