last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
