Can i not drive my cunt home
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
