Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
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If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
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Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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