Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
