Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
