Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
