I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize