My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
