The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
