i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
