i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize