If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
