It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
