I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize