Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
