I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
God, I missed his penis.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
