I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
