Nicole vs. Life
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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