our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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