3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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