if i can run in heels then i can drive
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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