i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
