I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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