i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
