Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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