it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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