if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The beer is more important than you right now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Vodka?
Forever.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
