Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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