if i can run in heels then i can drive
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize