I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
