Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
love makes seman taste better
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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