Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
