help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
