a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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