You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
