That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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