my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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