a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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