Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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