If i could tip my vagina, i would.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
