there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
