The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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