If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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