Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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