whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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