Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize