Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
it's great music for shaving your balls
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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