Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
