plz talk dirty to me
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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