Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
