I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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