So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
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I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize