So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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