Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
