You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
