some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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