a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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