I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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