hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
