I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
