Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
