I wish I could punch you in the face.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
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how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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