Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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