As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
