You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Boobs are out for the taking
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
