Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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