you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
